I have tasted life apart from Jesus. I lived that life for 17 years. The life of sin, selfishness, and death was painful, pleasurable, and confusing. I came into the light...TA DA...and everything got flip turned up-side down. Then I'm learning to live a new life...new rules, getting healing, experiencing power, love, acceptance, and beauty like I never knew.
I have been chosen, I have been called, I realize I am part of something extraordinary.
Then why, or better yet, HOW, have I allowed for compromise? I read past journals or think of experiences of when I was "on fire" for God. I made passionate commitments that were full of zeal for Jesus. Yet, what happened? How have I gone back on my word?
I need to begin to talk less and act more. I need to take what I say and what God reveals to me as sacred secrets of His Heart. It is a time of maturity. Weather I am in a time of consolation or desolation it does not matter. Pursuing God, living a live of complete devotion is the only way to live at all. If I choose another way, I make out God to be a liar.
I will spend my life, my efforts on you my Lord. Thank you for your grace to your servant. You reveal your heart and your love over and over again though I trample upon it time after time. Forgive me my iniquity and cleanse me of my sin, make me white as snow. I desire to live a life of devotion to you...not a life full of "devotions" but a life in which every single area of my life is for you. Weather I eat or drink or whatever I do, I wish to do it for your glory. Please help me in this effort Papa. I'm all yours, once again.
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